#45. Silly
laugh off(笑い飛ばす)対象のSilly(おバカさん)jokeです。


45-71 Overdue
r. Wilson comes home one night, and his wife throws her arms around his neck.
"I have great news. I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."
The next day, Mrs. Wilson receives a telephone call from AEC (American Electric Company) because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs. Wilson?"
"Yes. Speaking."
AEC guy, "You're a month overdue, you know!"
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the AEC guy.
"What are you saying? It's in your files. HOW?"
"Yes. We have a system of finding out who's overdue."
"Madam, I am sorry. I am following orders. I have to inform you are overdue."
"I know that. Let me talk to my husband about this tonight. He will speak to your company tomorrow."

 That night, she tells her husband about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to AEC office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at AEC, "It's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us."
"PAY you? And if I refuse?"
"Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
"I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle.

「えぇ、うちでは未払(overdue)人を調べるシステムがあり、マダム、残念ながらあなたは1ヶ月未払いです」と言われて、ウイルソン夫人は「なんてことなの!(OH MY GOD!)」と言ってしまった。

「金を払えだと?もし、断ったら?」とウイルソン氏が言うと、その女性は「その場合、お宅の電気を止めさせて(cut off)いただくしかありませんね」と答えた。

One month verdue を、ウイルソン夫妻は「電気料金一ヶ月未納」ではなく「生理遅れ一ヶ月」と思い続け、
翌朝AEC会社から cut off と言われ、

45-72 Yoo Mamma
1. Yo Mamma is so stupid that she is yelling into the mailbox.
 We ask her what she is doing.
 She replies she is sending a voice-mail.
2. Yo Mamma is so ugly that she throws a boomerang and it refuses to come back.
3. Yoo Mammas' cooking is so bad that homeless people give it back.
4. Yoo Mamma is so stupid that when they said "Order in the court," she asked for fries and a shake.
5. Yoo Mamma so ugly that when she went to a stripping club, they paid her to keep her clothes on.

4.ヨーママは本当にオバカさん。法廷で「ここでは静かに(Order in the court)」と言われたら、「ポテトフライとミルクシェークを!」と注文した。

Yoo Mammaは並外れて間抜けなオバサンで、Yoo Mammaジョークというカテゴリーがある位です。

45-73 One word a year
prince is madly in love with a princess and wants to propose, but an evil witch has cast a spell on him, and now he can say only one word a year.
So he waits 14 agonizing years-accumulating all his words-before approaching his beloved.
Finally, the big day arrives.
When he sees her, his heart skips a beat.
He gathers his nerve, drops to his knees, and intones, "My darling, I have waited many years to say this: Will you marry me?"
The princess turns around, smiles, and says, "Pardon?"



45-74 Frozen account
y cousin always "borrows" money from her older brother's piggy bank, which drives him crazy.
One day, she found the piggy bank in the freezer.
Inside was this note: "Dear sister, I hope you'll understand, but my capital has been frozen."


45-75 Don't be silly
enny is close to death and knows it.
He's in bed in his local hospital and around the bed are his wife Sadie, his son Morris, his daughters Leah and Fay, and his nurse Marilyn.
Suddenly, and with a weak voice, Benny starts talking tohis family.
"Morris, I want you to take the Heath apartments over in Bushey district."
"Leah, I want you to take the group of houses at the bottom of California Lane."
"Fay, I want you to take the shops in the High Road."
"And Sadie, my dear lovely wife who has been so good to me all my life, please take the houses in Merry Hill Lane where the NBC film studios used to be."

 Marilyn is totally shocked when she hears of all this property, and as Benny slowly slips away, she quietly says to Sadie, "Your husband must have been an extremely hard working and successful business man."
"Why do you say this?" asks Sadie.

 "Because he has accumulated such a lot of property," replies Marilyn.
"Property? Nothing!" says Sadie, "Don't be silly. Benny is a milkman and he delivered milk around these areas."




45-76 Takatanobaba
ne day a young girl and her brother were selling ointment made from toad's oil in the busy precincts of Asakusa Kannon Temple.
A samurai around 50 appearedout of the crowd and asked them to put some ointment on the wound on his back.
Showing his wound, the samurai asked the young vendor if the ointment worked on his 20-year-old wound.
"Yes, of course. Hmm… this cut was made by a shortsword that someone threw, right?" the young man inquired the samurai.
"You have a discerning eye, young man," the samurai replied and began to relate the story of how he got the wound.
The brother and sister's mood suddenly changed.
"May we ask your name?"
"Name? Iwabuchi Dnennai."
"You've spoken well, Iwabuchi Dennai! You're the enemy of our father. Our father was killed by a samurai named Iwabuchi Dennai. In the midst of cofusion, our mother threw her short sword and Dennai got the wound on his back. Now fight fair with us!"
Their remarks threw everyone around them into an uproar.
At that point, the samurai made a strange proposal -postponement of their revenge.
"I was so careless in revealing the story that I can't run away from my fate. But I'd feel very sorry to stain the precincts of the temple with blood. Please wait until tomorrow."
"All right. Where and when are we going to meet?"
"How about at noon tomorrow? At Takatanobaba."

 The next day there was a large crowd of onlookers in Takatanobaba.
All the tea stalls were busting with people eager to see the fight for revenge.
However, the appointed time came and went and nothing happened.
A man sipping one after another at one of the stalls was definitely the samurai everyone had seen the day before at Asakusa Kannon Temple.
An artisan spoke to him.
"Are you samurai I saw yesterday?"
"That's right. There will be no battle for revenge today," replied the samurai.
"But your opponent cannot allow the matter."
"They are my daughter and son."
"Gee, why did you do a thing like that?"
"I deal in revenge. A crowd of people gathered here today because of that drama yesterday. The tea stalls here are making money hand over fist. I get a 20 percent kickback from them and we can live a life of ease."




45-77 Pitch black
young programmer and the project manager, his boss, board a train headed through the mountains on its way to the town.
They can find no place to sit except for two seats right across the aisle from a young woman and her grandmother.
After a while, it is obvious that the young woman and the young programmer are interested in each other, because they are giving each other looks.
Soon the train passes into a tunnel and it is pitch black.

 There is a sound of a kiss followed by the sound of a slap.
When the train emerges from the tunnel, the four sit there without saying a word.
The grandmother is thinking to herself, "It was very brash for that young man to kiss my granddaughter, but I'm glad she slapped him."
The project manager is sitting there thinking, "I didn't know the young tech was brave enough to kiss the girl, but I sure she mistakenly slapped me."
The young woman was sitting and thinking, "I'm glad the guy kissed me, but I wish my grandmother did not slap him!"
The young programmer sat there with a satisfied smile on his face.
He thought to himself, "Life is good. How often does a guy have the chance to kiss a beautiful girl and slap his obnoxious boss at the same time!"




45-78 Cross your field
man asks a farmer near a field, "Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it? You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train. "
The farmer says, "Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one."



45-79 Soluble
physicist, biologist and a chemist were going to the ocean for the first time.
The physicist saw the ocean and was fascinated by the waves.
He said he wanted to do some research on the fluid dynamics of the waves and walked into theocean.
Obviously he was drowned and never returned.

 The biologist said he wanted to do research on the flora and fauna inside the ocean and walked inside the ocean.
He too, never returned.

 The chemist waited for a long time and afterwards, wrote the observation, "The physicist and the biologist are soluble in ocean water".




45-80 A pair of shoes
went to a Ford dealer.
I didn't really find anything I liked, but every car had a pair of shoes in the trunk.
Then I went to the Chevy dealer.
I saw one that I like and the dealer opened the trunk of the car.
I was disappointed when I looked in it and said to the dealer, "Well, there's something missing."
The dealer looked puzzled and asked me, "What?"
I replied, "At the Ford dealership I checked out, they had a new pair of shoes in the trunk of every car!"
The Chevy dealer winked and said, "That's no surprise. They need a pair of shoes so that they can walk home!"